Atonements – 2013 Tech Edition

“Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.” – Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Some would say that I have a difficult time apologizing….for  anything.  And, those who say so, probably know me well enough to make that inconsiderate, yet accurate assessment.  Generally, the number of apologies I owe, are directly proportional to the number of times things spew from my mouth before my brain realizes I should have known better.  However, in my defense, it’s a rare occasion when the recipient of my verbal faux pas is left with any doubt as to how I felt at that millisecond and I have a difficult time grasping how an “oops, sorry”, or “my bad”, could possibly change the outcome of the remainder of our contact.  Take today for example. Mrs. Lawrence and I were in a department store with two dear friends, Mr. & Mrs. “T”, who are currently visiting from up north.  As Mrs. “L” was off shopping, I made a remark to Mrs. “T” about how she should buy a particularly ugly, displayed pair of boots, in anticipation for their return home to the cold(er) weather.  She in turn made a rather crass, but VERY funny remark about the cost of said boots. As Mrs. “L” returned to our vicinity, she wanted to know what was so funny. So, me being me, I repeated the remark. Unfortunately, a small child was walking by just as I got to the “crass” part.  No doubt I owed him an apology. But would it have changed the fact that he heard something he shouldn’t have heard? No. So I saw no point in doing so.

But, for all you naysayers and rudely judgemental people, I have comprised my list of things I’m sorry for, and about, in 2013.  Enjoy!

In no particular order:

  • Mr.(?), I’m sorry that your business(?) sux so bad that you feel the need to spam inconsequential blogs, like mine, daily, with full screen, crap comments, containing hundreds of links that I’ll never click into, and that I’ll never allow to show up long enough for my readers to click into.spam
  • I’m sorry that the following sites failed in their own security efforts and subsequently were all subjects of major data breaches in 2013, resulting in millions of documents, user information, sensitive data, and financial records being compromised:  LivingSocial, Washington State Courts System, Evernote, Drupal, Federal Reserve, NY Times, Wall Street Journal, Facebook, Yahoo, Apple, Twitter, Homeland Security, Adobe, LinkedIn, NSA, MacRumors, and Target.
  • I’m sorry that most of the above sites, businesses & agencies were not immediately forthcoming about the data breaches and subsequent ramifications.
  • I’m sorry that the average PC user thinks that a $60.00 yearly subscription to an antivirus package can actually keep them safe, when the aforementioned sites, businesses and agencies can’t keep themselves safe.
  • I’m sorry that you forgot and never recorded your passwords for email (and multiple other things requiring a password).
  • And, I’m sorry that you disregarded the multiple signs and notices, hanging in my shop, that remind you to inform us of any passwords that are required to log into that computer you left for service.
  • I’m sorry for having to bump your computer out of line and then wait for you to call me back because you were in a hurry when you dropped off your machine and never explained what you were having a problem with.
  • I’m sorry that when I told you to bring in only your computer tower for service, you instead showed up with only your computer monitor.
  • I’m sorry that when you call and say you are having a problem with your modem, and I tell you to call your ISP, you get angry because I didn’t realize that you refer to your computer as a “modem”, or “hard drive”, or “the thing on the floor under my desk”.
  • I’m VERY sorry that you’re still using AOL desktop software.
  • I’m sorry for the trolls who will have a more difficult time with the few comment boards that now include moderators and those that have totally eliminated public comments, as Popular Science has.
  • I’m sorry that I had to be the one to tell you that your 9 year old laptop, with Windows XP,  256 mb of RAM,and a 40 GB HD, is a piece of junk and can’t be upgraded to Windows 7 or 8.
  • I’m sorry if you were one of the several hundred people attending 2 separate conferences in Boston, who had their credit cards compromised whilst partying in nearby bars.
  • I’m sorry if you were the poor slob who was fined $183,000, for your 60 second involvement in a daylong denial of service attack, organized by Anonymous hacktivists, against Koch Industries.  You were the only one they caught.
  • I’m sorry if you’re one of these people. Eventually, you’re going to jail.
  • I’m sorry that House Intelligence Committee Chairman Mike Rogers believes that it’s “impossible to have your privacy violated if you don’t know that your privacy is being violated”.
  • I’m sorry that Microsoft blew up it’s own Microsoft Office software with a bad update.
  • And finally, I’m sorry that your Christmas was ruined because I didn’t work that day.

I’m looking forward to a much less sorrowful 2014 and will leave you with this:

01101000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01111001 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01111001 01100101 01100001 01110010

(Happy New Year…… I’m sorry you don’t understand binary.)

“I never apologize. I’m sorry, it’s just how I am.” – me

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