“Catfish are jumpin’, that paddle wheel thumpin’…” – Doobie Brothers (Black Water)
I often (OK, daily) can’t believe my good fortune. My good fortune in meeting, and actually landing Mrs. Lawrence. Unfortunately, I’m a pessimist. Which means that I’m often (OK, multiple times daily) waiting for the hammer to fall and for her to come to her senses and realize that she has underachieved. Whether due to my surly, sarcastic demeanor, the fact that I hate everything from babies to rainbows, or because I frequently mention her in these blog rants. I just know that one day, I’ll come home to an empty house with a “Dear Jerk” letter pinned to a can of Chef Boyardee, and I’ll be destined to spend the rest of my life alone…with a cat because guaranteed she’s taking the dog with her. It would be devastating. And embarrassing. How would I ever be able to face my acquaintances and friend. <~~NOTE THE SINGULAR THERE.