“Moving on is like celery. It doesn’t taste good and who cares if it’s good for you.” – Me
I’ve been thinking about the whole “cutting the cord from my expensive cable” thing. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I thought about it 4 years ago when I bought my 2 (yes 2) Apple TV boxes. Then, I thought about it when I jumped all over the Chromecast gizmo. Thought about it again when I got a Roku last year and thought about it some more when I subscribed to Netflix, Hulu and Amazon Prime. I may have a tendency to overthink things. I call it proper planning. Mrs. Lawrence calls it “extensive, insane deliberation”.
My monthly Time Warner Cable bill, at home, is through the roof. I pay for 4 connections and 2 HD DVR boxes. The 2 “basic cable” connections are in a guest room (because guests should be able to settle for 99 channels dammit), and on the screened porch where the TV viewing is limited to the 20 minutes I can stand in the 105 degree hot tub during colder months. Here in Pawleys, we call that “February”. Throw in HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and a smattering of pay-per-view movies, which we check out when there’s just nothing to watch on the other 1,000 channels, and it gets expensive. And, contrary to what you may think, we really don’t spend all that much time watching TV. Evenings. Some days off if it’s rainy. (We call that February also). But it’s not really about how MUCH we watch, as it is about WHAT we watch. And, most of WHAT we watch has been recorded. Either because we’re working, or can’t possibly stay up that late. (10 PM….really? Who stays up watching TV that late?)
There are four basic types of shows on television: those we both like, (Vikings, Ray Donovan, Game of Thrones, Survivor, Shameless, Homeland), those only I enjoy (NCIS – all of them, Banshee, Scorpion. Madame Secretary, Baseball/Football/Hockey/Basketball), those only Mrs. Lawrence likes (blah blah cooking, blah blah fashion, blah blah Housewives, blah blah off-the-grid in Alaska shows, blah blah blah.), and everything else. With few exceptions, most of WHAT we watch can be accessed through at least one of the aforementioned devices and services, which I’ve already paid for or for which I continue to pay a monthly fee.
It’s an economic no-brainer, right? Why can’t I pull the trigger and ditch that Time Warner Cable? It’s not like I don’t have to constantly reset their equipment. Or that I haven’t exchanged their equipment, multiple times, due to malfunction. So what’s the problem?
Well, here it is:
This device. A simple remote control, becomes a painful, torturous thing in the wrong hands. Such as hands belonging to Mrs. Lawrence. Once her DVR’d shows are depleted, my darling wife can spend hours scrolling through the “Guide” channel looking for something to watch. It gets worse if she starts checking out the several hundred pay-per-view movies offered. And by the time she settles on something, my eyes have rolled far back into my head, and “oh look, it’s bedtime”!. Now, multiply this by 3, the number of remotes required to run the Apple, Chromcast & Roku devices, and you see my dilemma. Have you ever scrolled through Every. Single. Solitary. Show available on Netflix? Trust me, by the time you’re finished, a whole new slew of shows and movies would be available and I’d never see another thing on television. Ever.
Then, there’s this:
I spent the better part of a lifetime working outdoors and quickly became a Weather Channel junkie. Yes, i know that I can get local forecasts through a multitude of sources, including the Weather Channel via the internet or on my phone. But it just isn’t the same. Especially here in Pawleys. We have “Hurricane Season” (We call it summer), and as we all know, If and when Jim Cantore shows up, it’s time to go.
Can’t see this online.
I’ll definitely have to give this some additional extensive, insane deliberation. But I suspect that I’ll hang on to cable and the cord(s) I’ll be cutting are those to the various devices and monthly subscription services.
Beats dying a slow death at the hands of Mrs.Lawrence with multiple remotes.